The Gift Question

We have finally decided what to do about a gift list (and put the page up on the website accordingly).

It’s another tricky one. As a general rule people want to give you a gift when you get married, if for no other reason than it’s the socially acceptable thing to do. Traditionally, the wedding gifts enabled the new couple to set up home together, and as it happens, the timing will be right for us doing just that.

But how do you know what people need and want? How do you co-ordinate with all of the other guests (whom you may not know) in order to avoid duplicates? What about matching crockery? That’s why the department store list has grown to be so successful, and with the growth of the internet, you don’t even need to visit the store in person or worry about breaking your Le Creuset on the train there because they’ll take care of delivery for you as well.

To J and me, this was just too souless. We want this, from here, for this amount of money, and you don’t even get to wrap it up, ‘k thanks bye! Ooo, lovely company monopoly on our wedding. Our collective patience might also have been sorely tested by actually having to go round the store and trying to choose the items.

So what we have done is to set up ‘pots’ – electrical, crockery and glassware, miscellaneous household, and honeymoon. Each pot has various items listed under it from which guests can choose, or they can make a financial contribution to any. J’s parents will collect in cheques at the wedding (recording who has contributed to what), and will then present us with four lump sums so that we don’t know the exact monetary amount that individuals have contributed. If people want to get us a specific item, we’ve asked them to email us first so that we can say “Stop, we already have five kettles! Even J doesn’t drink that much tea and coffee!”, or “This is the particular food processor that we had in mind”.

We’ve also made it clear that if people want to deviate from the list then that’s fine – that if people want to club together then that’s fine – and that if people don’t want to get us anything for whatever reason then that’s fine too.

I think, given a situation that both of us find really awkward, we’ve reached a reasonable compromise.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. kat
    May 08, 2011 @ 17:30:35

    What I would like to know is what are the astrixs for? you explain strik throughs which was easy conclusion but the astrix has stumped me! not that I am buying a gift of that list at all as you well know but I’m intrigued 🙂 xx


  2. Lucy
    May 08, 2011 @ 17:41:34

    Kat, read the blurb again 😛


  3. kat
    May 09, 2011 @ 20:24:28

    You added that explaination afterwards I swear 😛


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