J Confesses

A couple  of weeks ago, when J and I got engaged, we were knocking about on the internet for inspiration and shits and giggles and came across the concept of ‘the wedding blog’. “Really?”, I said. “Really?!”

Erm, we appear to have one. As the URL suggests, I was completely 100% not responsible for this, but when he told me about it, I figured that’s ‘what’s yours is mine’ and all that, so I might as well get a look in! At which point, he got his first taste of what married life will probably be like. “‘Another happy groom, Another wedding blog!’ as the title? Really? The Dusk theme? This is meant to be the happiest day of our life!”, and lo, it was changed.

So yes. It’s quite convenient, really. I get somewhere to ramble about getting married without boring people stiff on my normal blog, and he gets to take the blame when people go “A wedding blog? Really?“. And he gets to have his spelling corrected. Sounds a good deal all round to me!


The bride-to-be

In a completely democratic move, the bride-to-be has now access to add her own stuff to this blog. This allows her to alter my spelling at will. Probably a good thing. Unless you like my ‘ideosyncratic’ approach to the English language. Which I do.


My bride-to-be (henceforth, L) and I have often said that one of the things that has kept us close, got us through some tough times and gives us confidence in a future together is that we share certain principles and values.

We’re both Quakers. We don’t agree on all religious/spiritual issues, nor is religious agreement per se something that makes for a happy relationship. But it works for us. We both agree with and have a deep respect for the Quaker way of doing things, in marriage as in other things in life. You can read up on Quaker marriage and other Quakerly things at the website. No doubt I’ll expand more later, but the important things to note here are the fact that we’re having a Quaker wedding and that the Quaker ‘Simplicity’ and ‘Equality’ testamonies mean a lot to us.

We’re keen for the environment to exist in a fit state for any kids we might have – so as earth-friendly as possible. People are also important to us. We’re committed to a sustainable global and local economy too.

Family and friends come first. We want to have a good time and for everyone else to have one too – we want to be hospitable and make everyone feel welcome. But we also want to stamp our mark on the wedding – it’s our day after all.

I’m sure I’ll add more to this list as they come to me.


I’ve been trying to justify this blog for some time now. I’ve hit ‘delete’ on a number of versions of this About.

I’m trying to justify spending so much time, effort and money on a wedding day and its planning when there is so much poverty, war and hardship. I’m trying to justify spending so much time thinking about one day when my Quaker principles extols all days to be of equal worth and when I know that a marriage isn’t just about getting it right on one day and a marriage takes a lifetime of work and dedication.

The result is, I can’t justify either.

But the day is important to both me and my bride-to-be. Reconciling our concerns for the environment, international justice, Quaker principles and commitment to equality is going to be tough – if not impossible.

So I guess that’s why I’ve set up this blog. I want to be able to look back at past posts to make sure that we’re on track and haven’t waylaid our principles.

There are three main types of things that will get added to the blog.

About: About me, the wedding and the principles I/we want to maintain.

Musings: Usually circular ramblings about things. I’m a verbal reasoner (which can manifest itself in writing) so this is about helping me wrestle with some of the decisions that have to be made – spiritual and practical.

Research links: I’ll add here things that interest me along the way.

Enjoy the ride!